Last Friday I had my follow-up visit with my doctor for a dressing change.  I got to see his workmanship and it looks pretty good!  Five stitches in each foot and Dad told me they were well-formed.  I'll refrain from posting a picture of my gore, but I'm happy to send it if you are curious.  The new dressing is much lighter and more comfortable.

My doctor gave me "exercises" to do, which is to gently push each toe to maximum flex for a count of 10, then push it down for a count of 10, then repeat a total of 3 times.  He said to do 3 times a day and acquiesced when I asked if I can do them more.  I'm up to 5 times a day and it's getting less scary to do them.

I'm doing a lot better this week.  My feet no longer throb when I put them lower than my heart.  The pain has changed from a generalized ouchiness to either a sharp incision pain, a needle-like stabbing on the underside of my toes, or a burning heat (if I stand too much).  The pains are usually transient.  I've been off the narcotic medication for several days, and am tapering down my ibuprofen and Tylenol doses.  Ice still feels good, down to 4-5 times per day.  Sleeping is more comfortable too, with my feet no longer shooting in pain suddenly if the blankets twist them oddly.   It actually feels good to go to bed.  I can walk down the block and back - albeit at a slow and awkward gait.  I even tried driving today and it was no problem.  (I still have to wear my rigid sandals whenever I am walking and I wear them to drive.  They are legal to drive with, unlike a boot that mobilizes your ankle).  I cooked dinner the last few nights too and have done some light cleaning.

The kids are officially done with school.  Today I made a deal that I would let them do whatever they wanted all day and I wouldn't pester them.  No nagging to brush teeth, turn off the TV, eat vegetables, or anything.  It was my idea of way to mark "summer break," since they have been home from school for weeks already.  Surprisingly (or not) they were dressed by 9:30 and played together most of the day.  They're really good kids.  Jack played games, read books, cooked a frozen pizza for their lunch, and built legos.  I think Sam only briefly looked away from cartoons or video games when he was eating.  They both said it was a fun day.

We had to get a new dryer this week.  It still tumbled but stopped blowing hot air.  Perhaps if I was well I could have replaced the heating element of thermostat, but it was ancient anyway.  We've had it for at least 15 years, and we got it second hand from a coworker who probably had it 5-10 years before that. The new dryer dries clothes.  I did two loads.  Whoop.  Maybe it's the isolation or the surgery recovery, but this was the most unexciting $500 purchase we've ever made.  Adulting!

Things are starting to open up around town, but we are going to keep isolating for now.  Jack's piano school had the option to continue skype or go to the studio, and he agreed with me that we can keep it virtual a little longer.  I'm planning a virtual birthday party for his 10th birthday next week.  Tomorrow my book club is meeting in person!  We are a small group (~6 usually) meeting in a backyard, going through an open side gate, all wearing masks, distancing, and bringing our own chairs.  Seems like a low risk-high reward special occasion that I'm very much looking forward to.  We also have another remote trivia Friday night!  My social calendar is positively brimming! ;-)

Today I continue to feel better.  I took off the scopolamine patch and am trying to use only ibuprofen during the day.  The Narco works well for pain but makes me feel woozy and dimwitted.  The patch and pill together made my vision so blurry, I had trouble stitching, playing Animal Crossing, or reading.  It has been frustrating that I have to rest, but also can't do my favorite restful activities well.  Tonight I still have blurry vision but it's getting better.  I can walk for longer periods with less support.  I think the swelling is down - I've been keeping them elevated and iced religiously.

Mom has been a huge help: cooking and cleaning, teaching and entertaining, and keeping all of us in good spirits.  She went back home tonight.  Amanda is going to come help with the kids tomorrow while Ben takes me to my doctor.  I have a follow-up appointment to change the dressing and look at how my feet are healing.  I'm very curious to see how it looks under all this gauze.

Mom and the boys transferred all our seedlings to the vegetable beds.  They did a great job!  Mom's a total pro, so I'm sure we'll have a bountiful harvest now that her green thumb bestowed a touch on our plants.  I couldn't resist waddling outside to see their work, and mom insisted on a family picture.

Tonight I was getting that claustrophobic-cabin fever feeling.  I threw off my headphones and sighed loudly that I wish I could go walk around the block for a change of scenery.  Well, Ben made it happen:

Besides feeling like a fool, it was wonderful.  Fresh air, the smell of flowers, and a little sunshine all helped to reset my mental state.

I think I did pretty good today. The pain was tolerable with the meds they prescribed. I can get up and around with a walker.

I spent the morning in bed and the afternoon downstairs. I even took a bath tonight - it feels so good to be clean.

Of course, after all the walking and changing clothes and night hygiene tasks, my feet are throbbing with pain. Ben set me up with another ice packet, and I’ll try to sleep after that.

Sam is so sweet. This morning he delivered this letter:

Dear mom: I vearey hope your feet are better soon. And keep resting. By-by love Sam.

I’m so glad my mom is here to help with the kids and taking care of me. I feel like an oaf when I can’t take care of myself, but she and Ben are being very patient and attentive.

They told me the procedure went smoothly with no surprises. Everyone was really nice and seemed competent and calm.

I got home around noon. So far so good. My feet hurt, obviously. But the pain is manageable so far and the scopolamine patch has prevented any nausea.

Ben is being a great nurse, keeping me comfortable and icing my feet exactly as ordered.

Mom is here to take care of the boys- it sounded like they are having plenty of fun.

That’s all, just wanted to check in to say I’m good.

I made the boys dress up for my annual picture with them. Pretty good looking group, despite our isolation-haircuts.

On Monday I will become a voluntary cripple.  But after 6-12 months of healing and physical therapy, I hope to be the dancer I was three years ago.

Out the blue, my feet locked up in September 2017. It was this weekend, in fact.  I had gone to Zumba as usual, maybe pushed my arches a little farther than usual in the "Jamaican Love" routine.  But no problem.  Family came, we saw the Frozen musical and I walked around LoDo in heels.  No problem.  Then on Monday my feet couldn't bend at the big toe and they hurt like the dickens.  Weird.  I massaged, stretched, and figured they would get better.  They sort of did.  My left foot stayed stiff in the big toe.  I mentioned it to my chiropractor, who ordered an x-ray.  It showed some mild arthritis, but nothing to worry about.  I continued to stretch and try to work it out.

Over time, the left foot got better and the right foot got worse.  Then they switched again. Then they were both kind of bad, then on the verge of healing, then bad again.  Maybe cold weather made it worse?  Was it turf toe?  I never had redness or swelling or any sign of injury.  Just limited ROM and pain when the joint is pressed or bent.  I stopped wearing high heels, then stopped wearing anything that wasn't flat.  Then it was painful to walk in ANY shoe.

A year ago I started yoga to see if intense leg and foot stretching twice a week would work out the problem.  Nope.  No change, and it continued to get worse.  There were only two pairs of shoes I could comfortably walk in for limited time.  Dance class and yoga always made my feet hurt, and I could no longer balance on one leg in releve, do any one legged turns, no lunges, or anything else that needs a bent foot.  After poking around online I finally found my diagnosis - hallux limitus.

In November I booked an appointment with a podiatrist.  He confirmed my suspicions and explained that hallux limitus can have many different causes.  He ordered an MRI and found out I had almost ALL the causes - bone spurs, arthritis, asymmetrical joint thinning, cartilage loss, marrow swelling, and little floating chips of bone in the joint space.  He recommended surgery when I was ready, but for now gave me a steroid injection in anticipation of our Disney trip.  I also had gotten these awesome MBT shoes with a solid, rocking sole.  The shoes and the shot allowed me to have a fairly pain-free trip.  But this was not a solution, just a stalling tactic.

I decided to get a second opinion and see an orthopedic surgeon.  The podiatrist was fine, but I could tell his office wasn't exactly cutting edge tech, and joint replacements on 75 year olds was their comfort zone.  This new guy was great, he's had more experience with patients in my condition who desire to restore as much function as possible.  He seems confident that surgery will greatly improve my ROM and end the pain.  He says I'm on the younger end of the spectrum, but he has had success with younger patients before and there's no benefit to waiting it out.  He also recommended doing both feet at once!  Only one recovery period instead of two.  This was my initial desire, but I worried it would be too crippling to be off both feet at once.  But he says I should be up on crutches in just a couple days and walking within a week.

I scheduled the surgery for the Monday after the musical.  This was back in early February.  Then the world went crazy.  They didn't call to reschedule the surgery until a few weeks before, and just moved it to May 11.  I was unsure that the date would stick, but here I am just 4 days before and they are still sending me info and reminders about the procedure.

So that's my long backstory.  Hopefully on Monday I'll be able to get this bilateral cheilectomy, and in a year I can pirouette!

I took some "before" pictures so I can mark my progress in recovery.  I'm standing on the ball of my foot as high as I can.  I used to have a nice 90 degree bend, with a flat line from shin to ankle to toe.

Warning! Pictures of feet ahead!

After two years of back and forth, the right foot has been worse for a year now.  The MRI showed equal problems in both feet, maybe even a little worse in the left foot.  I wonder if the differences in presentation are caused by those floating bone shards shifting position in the joint.

Some things we did last month:

We have been able to continue most of the things we enjoy with the wondrous magic of teleconferencing.  It's not the same, but we welcome the pale substitution for prior entertainment and enrichment.

So much fun can come out of a little computer!