{"id":782,"date":"2013-07-10T01:20:00","date_gmt":"2013-07-10T01:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eaumaison.wordpress.com\/2013\/07\/10\/captain-obvious"},"modified":"2013-07-10T01:20:00","modified_gmt":"2013-07-10T01:20:00","slug":"captain-obvious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/2013\/07\/10\/captain-obvious\/","title":{"rendered":"Captain Obvious"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At dinner Jack has a full glass of chocolate milk.\u00a0 He spills the whole thing towards me, pooling across the table, on the floor, and on me.\u00a0 I try to catch it in my skirt. Ben rushes for rags.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>After a long pause, Jack says politely, &#8220;I need more chocolate milk.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>No kidding, kid.\u00a0 <\/p>\n<p>We laugh and mop it up.\u00a0 I opt to shimmy out of my skirt and use it as a rag.\u00a0 Jack looks at me and says, &#8220;You got chocolate milk on your skirt, Mommy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I chuckle as I run upstairs to change.\u00a0 What a helpful child.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At dinner Jack has a full glass of chocolate milk.\u00a0 He spills the whole thing towards me, pooling across the table, on the floor, and on me.\u00a0 I try to catch it in my skirt. Ben rushes for rags.\u00a0 After a long pause, Jack says politely, &#8220;I need more chocolate milk.&#8221; No kidding, kid.\u00a0 We [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=782"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/782\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}