{"id":1610,"date":"2011-08-10T20:34:00","date_gmt":"2011-08-10T20:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eaumaison.wordpress.com\/2011\/08\/10\/death-by-zumba"},"modified":"2011-08-10T20:34:00","modified_gmt":"2011-08-10T20:34:00","slug":"death-by-zumba","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/2011\/08\/10\/death-by-zumba\/","title":{"rendered":"Death by Zumba"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Back from vacation, feeling fat and bloated.\u00a0 Last night after work I trolled the internet for dance classes and found the Wheat Ridge Rec Center, the gym I&#8217;ve been using since Miranda&#8217;s postpartum days, offers a zumba class at a convenient time today.\u00a0 (&#8220;Zumba! Ditch the work-out, join the party!&#8221;)\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Possessed with self righteousness and a fervor like it was January 1st, I lay myself at the feet of Kris, our zumba instructor.\u00a0 Super tanned with a belly ring, spiky red hair with blond highlights, neon green mini skirt, and a Britney mic, she whipped me for an hour.\u00a0 Twenty minutes in I looked in the mirror and saw that I was lobster-red and dripping sweat.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t know how I made it through all of class.\u00a0 Kris bounced over after class and invited me to keeping coming.\u00a0 I told her it depends on whether I wake up paralyzed with muscle ache tomorrow, or if I can manage to grunt my way through my shift.\u00a0 Zumba!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Back from vacation, feeling fat and bloated.\u00a0 Last night after work I trolled the internet for dance classes and found the Wheat Ridge Rec Center, the gym I&#8217;ve been using since Miranda&#8217;s postpartum days, offers a zumba class at a convenient time today.\u00a0 (&#8220;Zumba! Ditch the work-out, join the party!&#8221;)\u00a0 Possessed with self righteousness and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1610"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eaumaison.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}